The Bear Facts of Life, Marriage and Everything

Some friends of ours are getting married tomorrow and it’s set me thinking about the institution. I came relatively late to marriage but - although this sounds corny - I can thoroughly recommend it!

On the train last night I read an article by a woman journalist that said she’d been told by men friends that they avoid women who collect teddies or cuddly toys as it makes them “unhinged” and therefore suspect. Hmmmm.

It so happens that I’m married to a decidedly level-headed, well-“hinged”, intelligent and fun loving lady who has a vast collection of bears gathered over the years. Some are valuable for reasons of scarcity, many more are “valuable” as they remind her (and nowadays often me, too) of happy times and visits. The camel I won at Blackpool Pleasure Beach; Heinrich from the Rhine (named after Heinrich Heine, whose Lorelei was nearby); the giant Charmin Bear won in a raffle at Sainsbury’s; and the koala from…….well, guess!

It seems to me that “normal people” (ha!) do love this idea of everyone conforming. We all should lead the same “normal” lives. We’re supposed to clean the car on Sundays, spend Thursday evening in Sainsbury’s, worry about new curtains clashing with the futon or engaging in one-upmanship about everything from flat-screen TVs to baby buggies.

I’m glad that I can share my life with someone decidedly not like that (but actually rather like me, with my eclectic collecting habits). Someone who – although perfectly able to have fun, a lot of it, too – doesn’t regard throwing up in the gutter as the objective to a night out and with whom I can have engaging, intelligent conversations and an engaging, intelligent fun life.

She’s pretty good at sorting out computer problems, too. ;-)

I know that Nicki and Dave - tomorrow's happy couple - are on course for similar happiness. Wishing you both lots and lots of it, too!